Ambulance Driver

On January 6th of this year, the StarTribune’s Whistleblower team ran this article concerning the Minneapolis Downtown Post Office’s reluctance to allow a donated Automatic External Defibrillator (AED) to be placed in the facility. This report followed months of efforts by workers  to obtain permission to obtain the device after the on-the-job cardiac arrest death of a long time employee.

My agitated response appeared in Ambulance Driver the same day as the Whistleblower report.

Whistleblower has a follow-up today in which Erica A. Brix, senior plant manager at the Post Office, refuses to throw away the shovel.

She essentially gives two reasons for denying the request. The first is the 3.5 minute reponse time for EMS to arrive at the scene. This is a bogus response time. She is referring to the average time it takes for an ambulance to pull up to the curb, after the call is received by the ambulance. It does not take into account the amount of time  to actually place the call to 911 after the patient collapses, for the call taker to process the call, for the call to be transferred to the ambulance dispatcher, for the dispatcher to determine where the closest ambulance is located and the amount of time for the medics to load their gear on the stretcher (after they pull up to the curb) and walk into this large facility and to the patient’s side.

Now don’t get me wrong – all this happens fairly quickly. But to assert that EMS can arrive at a patient’s side in 3.5 minutes after a person suffers cardiac arrest shows just how clueless Ms. Brix is about this issue – even after months of study.

Cost is the second factor, it is contended. They claim they are going to need 18 AED’s to adequately supply the facility. Now think of that. The Postal Workers asked to place ONE DONATED machine in a central location and the bureaucrats said, “Nope, we can’t afford 18.”  What does that tell us about bloated federal programs? Government thinking if I ever saw it.

Ms. Brix also indicates that the facility already has a CPR and First Aid program. As far as I know, any CPR training that I am aware of requires training for AED use.

I don’t know where the National Medical Director of the Postal Service came up with his numbers for cost, but if the device is donated, all you need is an extra set of batteries, which have a life expectancy of several years ($200 bucks) and an extra set of pads for $20 – which need replaced every two years.

They admit the training program is already in place,  they have at least one machine donated, and their understanding of response times is flawed.

Give these folks their AED, you look like a bunch of fools.

This amusing story comes to us from a co-worker.

He responded to a 911 call to find a man unconscious on the floor. His friend reported that he had found him there minutes before.

“Does he take medicines? asked the medic.

“Yeah, he does. What was that? – Oh, I remember, ‘Peanut Butter Balls’,” he said. “That’s it.”

“Huh?” the medic replied. “Where’s the pill bottle?”

The victim’s friend handed over a bottle labeled, “Phenobarbital.”

A patient said something funny today and it generated an idea for a new category of posts. It will be titled, “You Can’t Make This Stuff Up.”

Under this category Ambulance Driver will relate funny things that have happened over the years either to me or my co-workers.

The first will be about a patient encounter Ambulance Driver had many years ago:

“Lord, help me,” the patient said as we arrived, “I’m having contraptions.”

“You mean contractions?” I asked, trying to be helpful.

“Yes sir, I hurt from my Eucharist all the way to my vagina bone.”